Morren Aconite

A lot of the books I read this month were quite forgettable and somehow just… off. It felt like each one would get five stars from me but then most of them fell flat. I’m not sure if the books are to blame, or it’s my own state that was the problem, though.

Youthjuice, E.K. Statue

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A girly horror that is supremely well-written but isn’t surprising by any means. A good read overall, and one part of it made me physically sick, so it gets bonus points for that since I thought that wasn’t possible at this point.

Annotation (from Goodreads)

From Sophia Bannion’s first day on the Storytelling team at HEBE (hee-bee), a luxury skincare/wellness company based in New York’s trendy SoHo neighborhood and named after the Greek goddess of youth, it’s clear something is deeply amiss. But Sophia, pushing thirty, has plenty of skeletons in her closet next to the designer knockoffs and doesn’t care. Though she leads an outwardly charmed life, she aches for a deeper meaning to her flat existence—and a cure for her brutal nail-biting habit. She finds it all and more at HEBE, and with Tree Whitestone, HEBE’s charismatic founder and CEO.

Soon, Sophia is addicted to her HEBE lifestyle—especially youthjuice, the fatty, soothing moisturizer Tree has asked Sophia to test. But when cracks in HEBE’s infrastructure start to worsen—and Sophia learns the gruesome secret ingredient at the heart of youthjuice—she has to decide how far she’s willing to go to stay beautiful forever.

You Could Be So Pretty, Holly Bourne

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A YA dystopia about two radically different girls whose beliefs get tested throughout the book. I bought this on a whim after one reviewer described this as ‘if the Barbie movie was a book’, and I can confirm that it’s about the best way to sum up this novel.

The issues raised hit close to home, the book is infuriating in all the best ways. It could have been a five-star read for me, but at times the writing felt a bit heavy-handed and repetitive in its attempts to cement the reader’s understanding of quite basic problems.

Annotation (from Goodreads)

Belle Gentle follows the rules of The Doctrine to the letter and is so close to Having It All. She’s the highest Pretty in school, A Chosen One in her spare time, and she’s about to win The Ceremony and fulfil her destiny. So why does she feel so suffocated by her perfect life?

Joni Miller is an Objectionable and hated by everyone for her repulsive looks. But Joni doesn’t care. She just needs to win the Scholarship to The Education, so she get the power to overthrow The Doctrine and wake everyone up. The only person standing in her way is the prettiest girl in school. 

Set in a dystopian world, of normalised sexual violence, and where girls are expected to maintain impossible beauty standards of beauty, You Could Be So Pretty explores what happens when two enemies are thrown together. As Belle and Joni confront their prejudices, the reader is left asking themselves: Is this world really so far from our own?

Waiting For Ted, Marieke Bigg

⭐️⭐️⭐️

‘A lack of true enemies can be as lonely as a lack of close friends. It can make you exceptionally existential, knowing that you’ll never meet your match.’

A ‘perfect’ housewife is waiting for her man to come home. The evening stretches, long and empty, giving her time to reflect on her relationship and how it got to the point it is at present.

The novel is very short and can be read in one sitting, which is what I did. It was an entertaining read, not so much because of the characters or plot, but because of the sharp observations and good prose. I’d recommend it if you like something a bit rambly and depressing.

Annotation (from Goodreads)

Waiting for Ted charts the destruction of Rosalind and Ted’s relationship at the hands of an expensive chaise longue. Rosie comes from a wealthy, upperclass background. She dreams of being a traditional housewife to her big strong working man, cooking, tending the house and instagramming her perfect life. But she also needs to fill her house with things that she can Instagram, so when Ted bans her from spending any more of her father’s money on her ‘work’ as an interior design influencer until she’s actually earning, she begins to scheme – only to watch her schemes unravel, and the rest of her life with them.

Told in a series of reflections over the course of an evening spent waiting for Ted, Rosie charts her relationship’s downfall, how she drifted from her only friend (who she never really liked anyway), how she contributed to the breakdown in her parents’ marriage, how she never really let Ted into her perfect world, how she drove them to their spectacular breakdown, and as she does it becomes increasingly clear to the reader that Ted may not be coming home at all.

Tehrangeles, Porochista Khakpour

⭐️⭐️⭐️

A glittering story of an Iranian-American rich family during the pandemic. Four quirky sisters, an even more quirky patriarch, a perpetually depressed mother, and a cat whose existence is often ignored, get ready to film a reality TV show about their lifestyle. However, there are a lot of things they wouldn’t want to get out.

I picked this up because of the cover. Sue me. The premise of this is awesome, but I found the content a little underwhelming. The way identity issues are explored here is great, and the characters are memorable. However, the book read unevenly, like a firework that was lit and fizzled out before exploding.

Annotation (from Goodreads)

Iranian-American multimillionaires Ali and Homa Milani have it all—a McMansion in the hills of Los Angeles, a microwaveable snack empire, and four spirited daughters. There’s Violet, the big-hearted aspiring model; Roxanna, the chaotic influencer; Mina, the chronically online overachiever; and impressionable health fanatic Haylee. On the verge of landing their own reality TV show, the Milanis realize their deepest secrets are about to be dragged out into the open before the cameras even roll. Each of the Milanis—even their aloof Persian cat Pari—has something to hide, but the looming scrutiny of fame also threatens to bring the family closer than ever. Dramatic and biting yet full of heart, Tehrangeles is a tragicomic saga about high-functioning family dysfunction and the ever-present struggle to accept one’s true self.

Absorbed, Kylie Whitehead

⭐️⭐️⭐️

‘If I couldn’t be happy with my life, at least I could be entertaining in my despair.’

A standard ‘sad girl’ novel: sort of trippy, barely any plot, good writing, VERY depressing. I liked it.

Annotation (from Goodreads)

Allison has been with Owen since university. She’s given up on writing her novel and is working a dull office job at the local council – now it feels like the only interesting thing about her is that she’s Owen’s girlfriend. But he’s slipping away from her, and Allison has no idea who she’ll be without him.

Panicking, she absorbs him…

Soon Allison begins taking on Owen’s best qualities, becoming the person she always thought she should be. But is Owen all she needs to complete herself? Will Allison ever be a whole person?

The Murder After the Night Before, Katy Brent

⭐️⭐️

I was really excited for this book to come out. The premise is so promising: the MC wakes up with no memory of the night before, her best friend is found murdered, and she is determined to find out who did it.

Only the writing is cringey and the plot is as predictable as my typical Tuesday. I shit you not, I could guess 70 percent of the plot twist after the first few chapters. And I’m TERRIBLE at guessing these things, by the way. The rest 30 percent were as lukewarm as the coffee I’d forgotten about while wasting my time on this review.

Annotation (from Goodreads)

Something bad happened last night. My best friend Posey is dead. The police think it was a tragic accident. I know she was murdered.

I’ve woken up with the hangover from hell, a stranger in my bed, and I’ve gone viral for the worst reasons.

There’s only one thing stopping me from dying of shame. I need to find a killer.

But after last night, I can’t remember a thing…

Such A Bad Influence, Olivia Muenter

⭐️⭐️

Generic mystery about a missing influencer that is way too preachy for its own good. Social media=bad, we get it, there was absolutely no need for so much repetitive rambling about it throughout the book.

Also, that plot twist is quite… something. Not in a good way.

Annotation (from Goodreads)

Hazel Davis is drifting: she’s stalled in her career, living in a city she hates, and less successful than her younger sister @evelyn, a lifestyle influencer. Evie came of age on the family YouTube channel after a viral video when she was five. Ten years older and spotlight-averse, Hazel managed to dodge the family business—so although she can barely afford her apartment, at least she made her own way. 

Evie is eighteen now, with a multimillion-dollar career, but Hazel is still protective of her little sister and skeptical of the way everyone seems to want a piece of her: Evie’s followers, her YouTuber boyfriend and influencer frenemies, and their opportunistic mother. So when Evie disappears one day during an unsettling live stream that cuts out midsentence, Hazel is horrified to have her worst instincts proven right. 

As theories about Evie’s disappearance tear through the internet, inspiring hashtags, Reddit threads, and podcast episodes, Hazel throws herself into the darkest parts of her sister’s world to untangle the truth. After all, Hazel knows Evie better than anyone else . . . doesn’t she?

Over My Dead Body, Maz Evans

⭐️⭐️

I love me a good bitchy MC but this woman was straight-up insufferable. Seriously, by the halfway point of the book I didn’t even care who killed her as long as she was dead.

I don’t know what went wrong here. Honestly. Maybe I didn’t vibe with the humor (though it’s strange because, again, I love this type of grumpy MCs), maybe I just wasn’t in the mood, maybe it’s just not my cup of tea. Regardless, I hated Miriam, and since the book is quite character-driven it didn’t work for me at all.

Annotation (from Goodreads)

When the misanthropic Dr Miriam Price wakes up dead, her day has only just started to go wrong.

With everyone mistakenly thinking she killed herself, she’s condemned to half a century in Limbo as a ‘Death By Misadventure’ – unless she can prove that she was murdered. Unable to communicate with anyone living, Miriam’s investigative options look decidedly limited.

But she soon realises that Winnie, her elderly next-door neighbour – and mortal enemy – can see, hear and talk to her. The good news for Miriam is that the dying can interact with the dead. The bad news for Winnie is that if she can see Miriam, she hasn’t got long to live. Now this unlikely detective duo must work together to solve Miriam’s murder – and maybe avert Winnie’s death – before time runs out for them both. And before they kill each other first…